An Open Letter to My Bone Marrow Donor:
I’ve thought quite a bit about exactly what I want to say to you and I’m really not sure that anything I could ever say could measure up to exactly the right words. What I do want you to know is that I am okay and doing well. As you can imagine, BMT has been quite the life adjustment, but it was the best decision I ever made. Watching my body change and heal has been nothing short of insane. For the first time in 5 years, I can do a push up and run without pain. Before BMT, I had forgotten what it was like to take deep breaths, but now, thanks to you, I get to remember. There are lots of things that I didn’t realize that I was missing out on (things that I had given up on entirely) that I can now do because of you. Now when I think about the future I think about getting a PhD, getting married, having a family, and maybe kids. Those weren’t things that I’d ever really allowed myself to think about before because I’d kind of accepted that they wouldn’t be in the cards for me, but now they’re a beautiful new reality. My childhood dream was always to graduate college, which is something I honestly didn’t think was going to happen. Now, I’ll be returning in the Spring knowing that I will. It feels like, for the first time, I have some sort of chance. You’ve given me a light at the end of the tunnel. There’s nothing that I could possibly say to summarize those feelings, so I guess this letter and a thank you will have to do. And hopefully someday you’ll let me give you a hug. I’m also pretty sure my friends, family, and partner have quite a bit to say to you as well. But for now, this will have to do.
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