I’m Sorry I Called You A Slut
“Well, I mean, she’s kind of a slut,” I was standing in the hallway of my high school in the middle of the school day. It was close to lunchtime. I was 17, and thought I had my morals all figured out. “She really should get dress coded for that,” I said, “I can pretty much see her ass.” The entire group glanced over at the girl. “She honestly just looks stupid.”
Looking back, I can understand the logic behind what I was saying. Her skirt was, indeed, alarmingly short, but I was also making the situation worse by commenting on it. She really didn’t deserve to be called a slut. To be honest, the girl in question had never done anything wrong to me. I just kind of wished that I could pull off the dress she was wearing like she could. I wished a lot of things like that back then.
Women are the worst misogynists. Slut shaming is prevalent in all genders, but even worse if you consider the actions of women. Simply calling another woman a ‘slut’ because she looked at you the wrong way or commenting on another woman’s appearance in a deprecating fashion is a form of misogyny. In high school, whenever I sat in large groups of girls my age, I often felt the pressure to compete instead of support. Sisterhood is a concept that is rarely taught to our daughters in an age where we are taught to compete to get the right recognition. But even then, it’s often the recognition of men that we are fighting for. Even if a single woman obtains equal pay and status, the action of dragging the rest of her sisters down to get it isn’t feminism at all. It’s still playing into the patriarchy.
Now, if you’re a man reading this article, thinking to yourself that I’m leaving you out, then you’re part of the problem. The point of this article is a discussion about women. Having the conversation just about women doesn’t negate the plight of men or mean that men don’t experience gender issues. They do. But saying that the plight of men is being overlooked by the discussion of just women is like saying ‘All Lives Matter’ to ‘Black Lives Matter.’ Yeah — all lives matter. But that’s not the issue we’re talking about. Not everything has to be about men, just like not everything is about white Americans.
That’s the point.
Women have problems with feminism because they base feminism on obtaining the approval of men. Whenever a woman calls another woman a slut, she’s not criticizing the other woman because she’s perceived as seeking approval of other women. She’s being criticized for seeking sexual approval of men — which is considered threatening to other women. The idea that women can be sexual creatures for themselves is never considered. Everything has to do with her being to distracting for a man, because that’s the only reason a woman would ever dress up or wear a short skirt. Right?
That’s why feminism is hard. There’s a large population of women who see equality as gaining the respect and approval of the male gender so that they can give us approval and equality — even if it means tearing our sisters down. Unfortunately, that’s not how real feminism works. The second that a woman places her concept of equality in the hands of a man, the concept and power are lost altogether. True feminism is the idea that all women, despite race or age or religion, can control their own dialogue for their own approval. Not from society- but from themselves.
